"Mord believes Cage is a vampire who reinvents himself every 75 years or so," reads the story.
"Mord claims that the supposedly 47-year-old actor looks virtually unchanged since his first big hit 'Moonstruck' all the way back in 1987 — more 'proof,'" the story says (at least they put quotes around the "proof").
The photo was offered at a price of $1 million, but it has since been removed.
Are you kidding? Did no one at ABC News — not the writer nor the editors — say to themselves, "Maybe Cage has a grandfather or great, great grandfather?"
It is laughable that they would publish this story, legitimizing the disillusions of some old man.
The biggest oversight, besides the obvious ridiculousness of the claim, in this story is the lack of authentication or a reaction from Cage himself.
To quote Chelsea Handler, the late-night comedian, ABC News, "you need to get your shit together."
The writer ends the story with this: "Unfortunately, there’s one small problem with this bold claim. Vampire experts have been buzzing since the news about Mr. Vampire Cage broke — because a vampire cannot be photographed!"
Really? You've really got to bring out your "Twilight" vampire trivia to dissuade the public that Nicholas Cage is not part of the Cullens' coven?
While Cage's career has fallen into the realm of the supernatural recently — but has mostly just fallen out of the Hollywood A-list — I don't think it's his way of sending a message to the public that he is ready to come out of the coffin.
